As the sky grows dark and gray in the north of Europe, the Kinbaku Society of Berlin was happy to find themselves in Madrid at the end of November. Members from Denmark, Germany, The Netherlands, Poland, and the Czech Republic basked in the sunlight of the warm windows of the Madrid Shibari Dojo, co-owned by our Spanish contingent: Margout Darko and Zor. This meeting was without a strong agenda, centering more around simply coming together as a group, in person, in the flesh.
Officially kicking off on Friday, the only set plan for the weekend was a public performance evening on Saturday, featuring members of the Kinbaku Society of Berlin. Otherwise, there was space for those who wanted to make projects to make projects, who simply just wanted to tie to tie, and for all of us to simply be ourselves in the sun (or shadow, if you are Alexander).
On Friday, the day started off as every day to follow, with a lovely breakfast at a diner across the street. In discussing what the group wanted to do for the day, the decision was made to make a high-quality video of Saara and Alexander having a session, where members of the group would take on different roles in the production to produce something great that can only be done when we work as a team. With the idea of having a moment in the video being dedicated to how to cut panties, some members went off on a walk with the quest to buy cuttable panties! While others scouted for locations for other projects, or just spent time together in- and outside of the dojo. As the sun set, the space was prepared for shooting the video. While in the end no panties were harmed in the process, a beautiful session was had where everyone worked together to help: operating cameras, managing the sound, adjusting lights, supporting the model during pauses, and giving loving attention and support. Each person involved in the production, both behind the camera just as well as in front, was essential in order to create something truly special. And it’s projects like this that foster the togetherness we seek in our explorations around kinbaku. After a successful shoot, the group sat together around a table filled with sushi as Alexander closed the evening with a keynote presentation.
Saturday was our big performance day! With a guestlist of 40 people coming from all over Spain (some even flying in from the Canary Islands and others driving all the way from the Basque country just for the show), the Kinbaku Society of Berlin crew was ready to greet them in matching t-shirts! Many spent the day resting and catching up. Swen, Door, and Darkpath Tosenk gathered together for a playshooting in the lift and outside while others played, practiced, and worked very seriously on the upcoming issue of the magazine N°13 on Myths & Fairytales. Swen and Zor (often referred to as “the Zwens”) worked tirelessly, in particular, along with issue manager Komainu and Editor in Chief Alexander to make sure the design of the magazine was in line with the vision of the magazine – thanks to them, we are all super grateful to say that we will have an excellent upcoming issue of the magazine!
As the evening event approached, many community members of the dojo came to help set up the space along with some members of the Kinbaku Society crew. With such a sweet, warm-hearted local community the space was quickly filled with smiling faces, eager to see what was in store for them! There were three performances each representing a corner of Europe that the Kinbaku Society occupies: Iter Impius & Komainu (Poland), Alexander Ma & Nawataneko (Germany), and Scot & Tanja (Copenhagen). Each performance was touching, reminding us why we all tie in the first place: together, crying, laughing, teasing. Feeling ashamed, feeling loved. Making love. And trying to manage the pain that we all face. Our lives in a dynamic togetherness. Each performance complimented the energy of the other, making for a satisfying night ending in pure joy as Scot and Tanja filled us all with their playful affections for each other, expressed in flawless gestures and spectacular rope-play, that followed the precious tears of Komainu on bamboo and Nawataneko on hashira. And, of course, we were lucky enough to have the Zwens ensuring excellent documentation via both photo and film of each precious moment! The evening closed with another round of sushi, smiles, and euphoric afterglow.
After the breakfast, which at this point felt like a tradition, the group returned to the dojo. The Myths & Fairytales team got together with the issue’s designer for a day of intense work, while others continued to play and relax and hang out. The evening ended with a little rope jam where some community members of the Madrid Shibari Dojo came over to hang out and tie alongside the magazine folks. It was a wonderful feeling to simply just be together, to be ourselves, and to experience creativity and sexuality together in a way that also feels supportive and free. To get to know each other better, our hopes and fears and insecurities, and to work towards finding room for understanding one another, or in the least, acceptance.
As Alexander expressed, we are all united together in our deviances from society, and perhaps that is a greater uniting force than any other. And from there, perhaps, we can find our point of understanding. As members left one by one to return home, likely not to see each other for another year perhaps, it felt good to spend some time simply being human together. While we still do not always know why we do what we do, at least with this foundation, we can all move forward through this winter with a better sense of who we are as a group, and how we relate, so that we can figure out how to move forward together as the Kinbaku Society of Berlin.